Traveling as a couple: tips for avoiding a fight!
Traveling as a couple may seem ideal on paper: you see yourselves curled up against each other admiring sunset over the sea.
But the situation can quickly become hellish: closeness, feelings of suffocation, misunderstanding, fatigue ... all things that can turn the dream into a nightmare.
What are the risks? How to avoid them? Here are some tips to avoid living hell in paradise!
One of you wants to go to the sun and the beach in Asia while the other dreams of the mountains of South America.
Don't panic! Make a compromise. Find a country where you can do both or choose a country that has neither, it could be a nice surprise!
For our part, we got into the habit of alternating continents, from one trip to another: this allows us to satisfy our desires but also to share our own dreams with the one we love, and for it to become a common project.
This solution also allowed us to save ourselves from the second risk of dispute which is...
The type of trip: adventure or rest?
Having lived it during our first trip to Asia, we are well placed to talk about it!
I (she) only wanted to discover, to trek in the forest of Chiang Mai, to eat in the street, and to fill my eyes with magnificent images.
He saw the vacations as a rest: sitting on a sofa, sipping a drink at the bar of the 4-star hotel, or getting a massage at the SPA.
As soon as we arrived, the fatigue of the flight had created a tension between us:
I open the restaurant menu and I see... Salade Niçoise! I had not made 12 hours of flight to eat a dish of my childhood.
On the 3rd day, locked in the hotel, an argument broke out. I was at the point of telling him that I was going back to Paris.
By starting a frank discussion based on listening and empathy, to put down the things that were bothering us, we managed to find common ground, and the rest of the vacation went smoothly.
He understood that traveling is opening your eyes to the world differently, it's a change of scenery by meeting new people, it's learning...
I also understood that there was no point in running, that traveling is also taking the time to do nothing!
Neither martyr nor slave! Find a balance by communicating your impressions, your desires. Alternate physical activities and moments of rest.
This is the N°1 reason for arguments in a couple (on vacation or not!).
Don't panic, we have also been confronted with this kind of situation, just a few days ago for the preparation of our trip to Burma.
Me (Sabine), I prefer to sleep in slums but to spend 300$ on a hot air balloon flight, while Mr. Moustache, he has a rather extensible wallet and thus... wishes to sleep in a nice hotel AND to do the activity!
We succeeded in finding an agreement that works quite well: he has the right to reserve a beautiful hotel for the 1st night, and a beautiful hotel at the end of the stay. All the rest, we make it in mode "improv", that is to say, that we favor the guest houses to make savings, but according to our state (tiredness, psychology) we will be able to spin in a beautiful hotel of luxury without freaking out on the monetary point.
Preparations: the locomotive and the ball and chain
Yes, when you travel as a couple, misunderstandings can start even before you get on the plane!
One tends to manage everything and the other one lets himself be guided.
To avoid frustration on both sides, make a list of things to do and divide the tasks. Check-in every few days to keep each other informed of progress.
Organizing your trip: Planning everything or just day-to-day?
When we travel as a couple, the first desire is to do everything together.
We did not escape the rule :) (We are really confronted with all the problems of the couple during the trip!).
So we managed to find a "common ground". The first trip was a 15-day Roadtrip in Mexico all organized, then little by little, we let go. Finally, the last trip was half and half. We reserve the first night of the hotel, some key stages (or certain destinations where the hotels are quickly booked) by alternating with days where we let free run to our desires.
Suffocation: when proximity puts the couple to the test
Spending 3 weeks together, day and night is far from the habit of daily life, and can quickly create a feeling of suffocation. When you travel as a couple, it is difficult to slam the door to "get some fresh air" at a friend's house when the atmosphere becomes heavy...
Nothing prevents you from doing separate activities for the day!
Allowing yourself half-days for yourself is also taking care of your "self". If one of you wants to go for a walk and the other one doesn't then leave you for 4 hours. You'll have plenty of things to talk about when you meet again!
Moreover, you will be satisfied with both of your trips by having been able to savor each moment, and you will not return "exhausted" from your vacations.
To conclude, in a word, do not try to impose your will, nor to be always right, on the contrary, be open to the other and try to understand his expectations, make compromises.
An argument breaks out despite everything?
No need to drop everything and leave each other on the platform of the station, as we did, but rather follow our advice to manage an argument while traveling serenely: Couples, How to manage arguments on vacation (while writing this article, I realized that yes, we did everything on vacation!)
What about you, have you ever had a vacation argument? Share your experience and solutions with us!